When I was growing up, my Italian grandmother used to come and visit us in Houston during summers and holidays. I loved my grandmother. She always smelled good and carried little lemon drops in her purse for me. We played together and cooked together. However, when I didn't want to do something she asked me to do, she was quick to reprimand me. If I got sulky or angry, she would simply say, "anger does not become you." And for some reason, that simple phrase stuck with me.

It sounds kind of proper and uptight. She understood that anger can betray you. It can take hold of you and turn you into something else. When you get angry, you become a lesser version of yourself. You let anger have the driver's seat while you watch from the back. It doesn't give you more power, it gives you less. Because you aren't yourself in those moments. I thought about this as a friend told me of her recent dates with a man who had a temper.

You know the angry types – they talk down to the waitstaff, they complain if there is anything wrong with their order (which I can't bring myself to do because I don't want spit or any other bodily fluid in my food), they get easily frustrated with simple things, like finding a parking space or getting stuck in traffic. Instead of engaging with their dates, they are too busy getting upset with whatever problems arise. And usually a lot of shit happens to these kind of people.

There is something to that old phrase "you reap what you sow." To angry people, they sow a lot of shitty behavior, and it comes back to them so it just fuels more anger. My friend decided to give the guy a chance, and went out with him three times before finally pulling the plug. Everything triggered him. If he got a little too much lime in his vodka tonic he'd make a scene and demand a free drink from the bartender. He thought everyone was trying to cheat him.